Take a chance

October 14th, 2005

Last Saturday (actually early Sunday morning), I spent some time getting to know a funny, charming man I met over the summer. When I write ‘getting to know,’ I really mean ‘making out.’

It’s been so long since I’ve been close to anyone, I freaked out. I kept my hands up ready to push him away at any moment. The more time we spent together, the harder it was to resist him. Its a good thing he had to be someplace early Sunday morning. If he stayed any longer, I sooooooooooooo would have given in to him. Ladies, this man has moves!

He sent me an email Monday afternoon.

…it was a very nice evening.

Yes, it was…but was it the first of many very nice evenings? Or just that one? Only one way to find out…

I sent him a email Wednesday about an article from the New Yorker magazine website. He told me about the story last Saturday, saved the article for me, but forgot it in his car. So when I finally read it online, I sent him a quick note commenting on the piece. It was a total BS email, an excuse to get him to write me back…He didn’t.

Bummer!

All this week, I was distracted thinking about my new friend; specifically, what a total chicken sh*t I was for declining his advances. Its not like I didn’t want to go there. I was just afraid. Of what? Hell if I know!

This afternoon, as I plugged away at one of my projects, I thought, “Why am I freaking out about this? Its not like he’s a total stranger. AND he’s a nice man. Really, I could sooooooooooo use the practice! Damn it, I’m going to call him!”

Of course, I didn’t do it right then and there. Instead, I decided to bounce the idea off of my best bud, Jean Luc. I left the following (paraphrased) message on his voicemail.

Hi Jean-Luc, it’s Flo. I’m calling because I need you to talk me off a ledge: I’m seriously thinking about calling my ‘new friend’ and asking him out tonight. I need to have sex like NOW and I think he might be willing to help me out…So anyway, when you get a chance, give me a call. Thanks! Bye!

Jean-Luc waited two flipping hours before returning my phone call. The first words out of his mouth were, “So let me get this straight: you want me to talk you out of calling this guy?”

Flo: Yes
Jean-Luc: Why?
Flo: Because if I do, I’ll probably sleep with him.
Jean-Luc: And that’s a bad thing?
Flo: Well…That would make me a big ol’ ho bag. And I don’t want to be a big ol’ ho bag. But, dude, I sooooooooooo need to get laid.
Jean-Luc: Yeah, I know you do. Listen, you’re 35 years old…
Flo: I’m 34.
Jean-Luc: Yeah, okay, you’re 34 years old. If you don’t do this now, you’ll be calling me when you’re 64 years old, asking, ‘Should I sleep with this guy?’
Flo: Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.

About a minute later, I called my new friend. I left a message on his voicemail; something like, ‘I’ve been working like a crazy person all week, wanted to be around someone who’ll make me laugh and thought of you, might see a movie tonight, maybe you can join me…blah, blah, blah…call me at blah, blah, blahdedy, blah.’

That was around 8pm. Probably too late to get any feedback tonight. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t feel silly for chasing after someone who may not be interested in me.

I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens. What have I got to lose? Dignity, confidence, self-respect…

Take a chance,
Flo