Idiot Ex Husband .com

Saturday afternoon

January 31st, 2006

My friend Lulu’s birthday party was a great one. It was filled with lots of good (mostly vegetarian) food, lots of laughter and a lot of attention focused on the birthday girl — right where it belonged.

It was such a good time that Lulu and I crashed in the guestroom until 3 a.m., when she sobered up enough to drive home. I waved good-bye, then went back to sleep.

When I finally returned to my apartment Saturday morning, my bouquet of flowers was waiting for me, along with the card reading, “Happy Anniversary. Love, Endicott.”

As I scanned my living room, looking for the perfect spot to compliment the all white bouquet, I thought, “If I stay here for more than five minutes with that beautiful, fragrant reminder of Endicott and our broken marriage, I will lose my damn mind.” So, I cleared a spot for the vase, changed my clothes, then headed for my car.

Friday morning, my best bud, Jean Luc, introduced me to a hiking trail a few miles from my home. it was such a treat to be outdoors. To feel the sun shine on my skin and the cool breeze mussing up my hair completely took me away from whatever was on my mind that morning.

So Saturday morning, when I felt overwhelmed (again), I headed for the Hills (again)!

Sometime around 11 a.m., I remembered the call I received the night before, inviting me out on a lunch date. I planned to politely decline, maybe reschedule for the following weekend. As I scrolled through my contacts list, I wondered, “Why am I cancelling this date?” Is it because I think it is tacky to go out on my wedding anniversary? Or do I think everyone else will think it’s tacky and judge me? I realized my hesitation was based on the latter.

In my head, I was instantly defensive: It’s not like I’m planning on staying married to Endicott. We’ve been separated for over a year now. I’m pretty sure this thing is not a temporary situation. And really, anyone who would give me a hard time about making a date on my sad, stupid, suck-ass anniversary probably already thinks I’m nuts. So what am I waiting for?

When the path leveled out, I stopped, dialed the number and made lunch plans to meet in Los Feliz at 2 p.m.

In case it is not clear — and I’m sure it is COMPLETELY confusing ‘cuz I don’t want to use names just yet — this person is not my New Friend. My New Friend is the older, charming, funny, globe trotting man I’ve had a crush on for months. He may or may not be back in my life. If he calls next week when he returns to town, I’ll let you know…Maybe.

My lunch date is someone Lulu and I met at a movie premiere. The movie wasn’t so great, but the party was fun. We danced, drank, and met lots of fun people. One of them gave me his phone number. I called him a few weeks later. He phoned me back. It had been a slow game of phone tag until Saturday.

While he was perfectly pleasant, and cute, the whole thing was a little uncomfortable. It took me awhile to pinpoint it, but the problem — was it really a problem? — was that he reminded me A LOT of myself. I’m used to being the quirky, unsettled person in a relationship. Besides, as nice as he was, he’s not the kind of man I usually find attractive.

I love, love, LOVE geeks. Hilariously funny, highly intelligent men who make me laugh out loud, who will challenge me, who I can learn from — they are so hot! I get lots of offers/passes/attention from cute, sometimes even hot men, but I’m usually not interested if they’re not smarter than me…Is there something wrong with me?!

My best bud, Jean Luc, says I have it all wrong: Befriend the geeks, but go out with the hot guys. “But, Dude,” I cry, “can’t we find a happy medium?” I’m sure there are hot, intelligent, funny, single men in the world. Heck, I know a few of them! If I could just work out the timing thing, I might finally find a compatable (read: hot & thoughtful) man.

But until then, I’m thinking this lunch date went as far as it ever will. But that’s okay, because I know I have other lunch dates in my future. And maybe more.

Adios,
Flo

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