Idiot Ex Husband .com

A mighty good man

February 3rd, 2006

My soon to be ex-husband, Endicott, has been in touch with me via email. He writes me updates regarding some billing issues we have with the UCLA Medical Center.

We keep getting billed and rebilled for some of my old arthritis treatments rom 2002. Each time this happens, Endicott gets his Human Resources people to straighten out the billing mistakes at UCLA. The UCLA people vow to change their ways, say everything is fine…And then the collection agency calls to collect on our “outstanding medical bills.” Yes, the brain trust running the billing department at UCLA suck. Consequently, Endicott and I hate them.

At the same time, I’m still a patient at UCLA. I’ve seen rheumatologists there since 1998 to treat my moderate case of Rheumathoid Arthritis. My former rheumatologist, Dr. Bulpitt, was so compassionate, and caring, that when he left UCLA several years ago for a new job with Kaiser Permanente, Endicott and I actually discussed changing medical coverage so I could continue my treatments with him.

I’m not sure what is going on at UCLA’s Medical Center, but the atmosphere seems to be changing for the worse. The billing problems aside, the staff seems overworked, the waiting areas are more crowded, and nowadays, I can’t even get a call back when I page my doctor.

So imagine how I reacted when I got this email from Endicott last week:

To: Flo
From: Endicott
Thu, 26 Jan 2006 19:08:35 -0500

The new UCLA bill is in, a completely different issue, and I’ll be paying it. There was $11,000 plus in chemo/oncology for the the end of 2005. Blue Cross paid $8,000 and the remaining amount got negotiated down. My concern is that this sounds pretty serious health wise, so please let me know how you are doing.

When I read that, I think I actually stopped breathing for a few seconds! Once the shock wore off, I was almost in tears.

I’ve been on and off all the new arthritis medications over the years. They either don’t work or, in the case of Enbrel, they do work but I HATE them. It wasn’t just the twice weekly injections I had to give myself that sucked. It was the bruising over my legs (my injection site), having to stop the medication every time I had a cold (infections can be fatal while using Enbrel). God forbid, I came into contact with anyone who had the flu. The recurring yeast infections (thanks to my lowered immune system) didn’t exactly endear me to the drug either. As much as that drug sucked (for me), it was still better than many of the other drugs used to treat the disease.

Recently, my doctor suggested I try a new drug called Remicade. It was expensive, but many patients in the rheumatology department have had success using it. I remember asking about the cost of this drug, but only in general terms. “Is it comparable, in cost, to Enbrel?” I asked. My doctor nodded, then said, “Yes.” (FYI, without medical coverage, Enbrel used to be about $1200 a month. My pharmacy co-pay for that drug was $6.00.)

Upsetting email point number one: How exactly is $11,000 comparable to $4800 ($1200 a month x four months)? Here’s the bigger question, how the f*ck could four treatments of Remicade cost $11,000 and NO ONE thought to mention the $3,000 lapse in coverage?

Upsetting email point number two: Endicott thinks I have cancer.

All my remicade treatments were administered in the oncology center at UCLA. Before each appointment, someone called my home phone to remind me of the appointment. I asked them a million freakin times to remove Endicott’s home phone from my files, but it has yet to happen. So guess what happened when he listens to his messages and hears, “This is a reminder for Flo. Flo, you have a treatment scheduled at the CANCER CENTER at UCLA tomorrow…”

The first time he mentioned the call in an email, I thought, “It’s none of his damn business, if I’m sick or not. I don’t owe him an explanation.”

Two weeks later, there was another email regarding another appointment. At that time, I thought, “Oh, this sounds bad! I better tell him I’m okay. I’ll send him an email tomorrow.” As quickly as it came into my head, it went right back out.

A month later, another appointment comes up, along with another concerned email. Again, I completely flaked out on writing him, until the email from last Thursday.

Given the strained relationship we have these days — and the incredibly thoughtless way I reacted to 1) my medical bills, 2) his concern for my health — it was mighty big of Endicott to help me. He didn’t have to pay my medical bills. He could have let me swing in the wind! He didn’t have to be as thoughtul and considerate as he has been recently.

When I left him a voicemail message apologizing for the mess I made of this medical situation, he didn’t have to write this email:

To: Flo
From: Endicott
Date: Mon, 30 Jan 2006 03:11:43 -0500

Dear Flo,

I got your phone message over the weekend. My goal was not to stress you out more about money. I was really concerned that something was seriously wrong.

So first of all, happy news. You don’t have cancer (knock on wood). That is great. Every other problem pales in comparison.

Second of all, did the arthritis treatments work? Did it help? Any relief from pain? Did I mention I am sooooo relieved you aren’t undergoing some cancer treatment (knock again on wood).

Third of all, the collection agency and UCLA were actually able to greatly reduce this balance. So money is money, but what the flip, it’s only money. Cancer negatori, wood knocking on the rise.

Yes, Endicott is a good man…Feel free to remind me of this fact the next time I get annoyed and call him a jackass.

Thank you, Endicott,
Flo

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