I, Idiot

February 10th, 2006

Endicott responded to the short email I sent to him yesterday. You know, the one in which I threatened him with bodily harm if he dared to approach me on Valentine’s Day…Apparently, I overreacted. He wasn’t interested in a passionate reconciliation over whipped cream and lingerie. It was a purely practical matter, involving money and twice and thrice billed medical expenses.

And I, ladies and gentleman, am a total idiot. Read it fo’ yo’self:

To: Flo
From: Endicott
Subject: Re: don’t even THINK about it
Date: Fri, 10 Feb 2006 16:06:19 -0500

Dear F:

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Thursday, I have class and it’s always a compact day. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I got physical therapy so those days get cut in half; so Tuesdays are the only day I can spend time on the extra stuff. Tuesday I was planning a meeting with Human Resources…to go through the lovely (medical) bills again.

I don’t know where you work, but what I wanted to find out if you have fax access and if it was appropriate to call during your work hours so we could conference call so we can move on those letters for the medical billing. I don’t know what or how you do your job…I never wanted to ask because I don’t want to pry, and I’ll I know is from the blog that some jerks stiffed you…and that was the only time I called so if you needed somebody to lean on them and get your money I was offering that or some other way to help. That was the one univited call I made over all this time. I called today (prior to checking my email and after our good in-person meeting of Monday) only to confirm the fax info.

I have certain time constraints because as I have mentioned we are changing our benefits plan. 1) We now have from middle of the month to the first week of March to make benefits decsions. That is only three weeks (which translates to only 3 Tuesdays including next Tuesday) . Also I wanted to fax you the benefits plan stuff so you could look it over. It’s not like I can come come home and say, “Hey honey, look these over and tell me what you think?”

Because of this situation our mutual decsions take longer. Because of your special health needs, I wanted your participation in these decisions. I wanted to chat with you about if you have talked to Dr. Bulpit, is he (with) Kaiser or what?

2) My concern is once we switch we will get zero help from Blue Cross Blue Shields with UCLA billing, etc., etc.

When I first saw your e mail, I did not know what you were talking about until I read the blog. I thought you were just repeating your joke from Monday night.

On your birthday and our anniversary, I did not ask your permission to send you stuff and telegraph it, I just did it, because I wanted to do it. So why would I ask you on Valentine’s? My MO is I would just do it.

When you called out of the blue and wanted to work together on the (medical billing) letters, you obviously gave it some thought and I was totally unprepared. Yet, you came over and we hashed out the letters and talked and had a good time (despite the occasional crankiness due to pain which is totally understandable) and chatted and we were both very civil and nice to each other (all I have ever wanted), we almost went out for a bite, and even when you departed I was very happy you left with a smile and a laugh.

But according to you their is a jackass in this relationship, but my dear, I’m afraid it’s you.

Next time you want to know what I’m thinking why don’t you have the courtesy to ask me directly. I don’t make assumptions about you and I respect your privacy and don’t make judgements about your character.

Now, do I think you are ever coming back? Unlikely. Do I still care for you? Absolutely. Do I hope we can be friends and get past this uncomftable phase? I really hope so.

Love,
E

PS Happy Valentine’s Day