You need to settle down!
If you read my last April post, you know I had been freaking out.
My latest health scare had me more worried than I’ve been in awhile. That says a lot, given that’s all I seem to do these days.
When I spoke to my best bud, Jean Luc, one afternoon, I must have been worked up again because he said, “You need to settle down!”
Yes, I do.
“You think you have an eating disorder? You don’t!” He sighed. “What you’re experiencing is called neurolinguistic programming. NLP — look it up on the ‘net. It’s a very powerful tool for training your brain to blah, blah, blah.”
He didn’t actually say blah, blah, blah. I’m not exactly sure what he said for the next five seconds because my brain stopped working. I have trouble staying focused, my short term memory doesn’t work so well; it is constant.
When I tuned back in, I replied, “You know, the same sort of thing happened when I was a vegetarian. The thought of eating meat brought up these ugly images from slaughterhouses films, recalling animals in pain. It was so repulsive, I didn’t eat meat for four years after that…But that was different. I wasn’t afraid back then. Now I imagine everything I eat will give me cancer. I think, ‘That double-double will kill me quickly. But this bowl of blueberries won’t kill me quite as quickly.’ ”
Jean Luc replied, “Now you’re thinking like a healthy person.”
“Uh, I’m not sure healthy people are convinced EVERTHING they eat will kill them…I just hope this paranoia passes soon…I don’t know, dude.”
After several days I did finally settle down. The organic fruits and veggies on my plate stopped looking evil.
When I returned to the dermatology office to have my sutures removed (which literally took two seconds to do), my biopsy results still weren’t in. The lab’s turn around time was longer than expected, so the results wouldn’t be in for another five days.
As I groaned at that news, my doctor looked up from my new teeny tiny scar and smiled. “I’m sure it is nothing to worry about. We’ll give you a call when your results are in.”
On my way to my car, I thought, “I bet she sees these things every day, and knows what to expect. If she says it’s nothing, I’m going to believe her!”
And I did. I forgot about it for the next five days…until sometime around 4 p.m.. When I couldn’t wait any longer, I called the office.
I was told the results were in, but the doctor had not yet reviewed them. She would probably do so when she returned the next morning. That’s when she would call.
“Ohhhhhhhh, but I really want my results nooooooooooooooow.” I whined, ” I’ve waited two weeks now for these results. Everyone says its nothing, but I’m gonna keep freaking out until I hear definitively I’m cancer free…Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan…Can’t someone call the doctor?”
Apparently, my little crybaby bit worked because I got a call back twenty minutes later saying everything was fine.
That’s when I started making the “Hey, drop what you’re doing so I can tell you I don’t have cancer!” calls. That was fun! So I moved onto the “Hey, this is a silly reason to write — just want you to know I don’t have cancer! Yea!” emails.
I got lots of sweet, supportive responses. One of them turned into a very nice dinner date. Well, interesting, friendly dinner between two new friends. (His treat.)
I’m glad this situation turned out as well as it could: I’m cancer free. I have good new eating habits that will keep me that way longer. I felt lots of care and concern from family and friends. Best of all, I have a cool new scar to show off!
Adios,
Flo
Add comment May 21st, 2006