Overcaffeinated
It’s been two weeks since I took my first happy pill. It’s one of the five drugs that have been prescribed to counteract the havoc that my former arthritis drug, remicade, played on my body.
It’s hard to believe it took me seven months to connect my new health problems (severe acne, memory loss, depression, and on, and on, and on) to that stupid drug (remicade).
Ah well…What are can I do? Someone suggested a lawsuit. I thought about it for a few minutes before deciding against it. I’m not ligitious. Unless, of course, it involves some idiotic, sleazebag trying to screw me out of money just because he thinks he can get away with it. That sort of person forces one to think in those terms, even when one doesn’t want to…Before you ask, I’ll just say, no, I’m not talking about my soon-to-be-ex-husband, Endicott. While we are not compatable, I recognize that Endicott is a good man. He doesn’t purposely hurt others for fun or profit. I’m referring to someone else’s idiot-ex-husband…But that’s another story. Another f*cking story, for another f*cking day.
The good news is that I’m almost out of my depression. I feel joy again. I’m having fun again. I had the occassional day of fun while I was sick. It was always short-lived, followed by the usual dark, hopeless feeling.
Sure, sometimes I feel very upset — idiot a-holes seem to be crawling out of the woodwork these days — but even that passes.
So far, I’ve felt only two side effects: dizziness (it happened once while I was driving) and the jitters.
My doctor said I could expect to feel caffeinated. Sheesh, she wasn’t kidding. It’s exactly like drinking two venti iced cafe americanos on an empty stomach. The first time it happened, I thought, “This is what’s like to be Beavis!”
That was without adding actual coffee into my day. Jeebus help me, if I have a double shot of espresso over ice with a little milk poured on top. Yum…The cool, rich sensation would quickly be replaced by my impression of Beavis as the Great Cornholio, holding my arms in the air, “I need TP! TP for my bunghole!” Okay, I haven’t actually done that…But I imagine it from time to time.
I read online that this feeling is a lot like being on amphetamines…Whoa, I don’t know anything about that! That’s not my bag, Baby! Unless they (you know, those people posting stories on the internet) are right, in which case, it may now be my bag.
I don’t enjoy the shakes, or the slightly agitated state. I’m slowly getting used to it. I’m also coping well with the decreased appetite and slight weight loss. Two pounds in two weeks — not too bad, huh? Not that I care much, but it is nice to think I might finally drop some of my depression weight.
The other widely discussed side effect of this medication is increased sexual drive…Uh, I have nothing to say about that since I have no activity in that area. I could — easily — but I don’t…I’m sooooooooo boring.
Overall, I feel well. Even with a recent setback, I’m more at ease than I was a month ago. Maybe now I can finally relax.
Doubtful, huh?
Flo
Add comment May 30th, 2006