No, really, thank you!
Several people I know think I’m nuts. They say I’ve let my separation from my soon to be ex-husband, Endicott, go on for way too long. They remind me that I left him two years ago, then urge me to finally get over my heartache and move on. (As if there’s a time limit on heartache. Okay, maybe there is, but I wouldn’t know it since this is my first divorce! By the way, only one person offered his personal – as in hand-on — assistance in getting me over this. Isn’t that nice?)
The one sure way to do that, according to them, is to drop this little blog once and for all. ‘It’s bad for you in the long run, Flo.’ Of course, I think, ‘Why the f*ck would I drop my one outlet for expression? How could that ever be a bad thing?’ They say it keeps my focus on the negatives of this situation, prolonging my pain, and preventing any personal growth – all bad things…Hmmm, I hear what you’re saying, people, but I respectfully disagree.
Writing my little posts has given me the voice I never had in my personal communications. It was always clear to me that no one wanted details on how my marriage was going to hell. When I spoke about it in the most general terms, most people reacted one of three ways: 1) discomfort, 2) boredom, 3) disbelief. (It wasn’t uncommon to hear, “Why would you ever leave a good man like Endicott?†Because he wasn’t good for me — duh!) Now that I have IXH.com online, I can share my stories without dumping them on anyone else. Readers seek out my stories on my site whenever they want.
Some people either don’t get the pain of divorce or were way more successful at getting over it than I am! Either way, they say IXH has got to go.
So imagine how surprised I was to get positive feedback from honest to goodness readers. Total strangers really, who related to my blog and asked me to keep it online. Some have been here for over a year, others just stumbled onto the site and liked what they read. The one that got to me actually wrote that reading my stories was like holding up a mirror to her own life…Oh. My. Gawd.
I can’t tell you how much I want to forward these emails to unsupportive people as proof that this site does really help, more than just me. But I won’t do that because what they think doesn’t really matter.
This site, my scribbles and my feelings are MINE. I (me, myself and I – not you) will deal with them in my own time, and in my own way. So, to the naysayers, I say thank you for your well-meaning comments, but don’t be surprised if I ignore your advice. I’ll drop my site when I’m good and ready, not one minute before then…But I’ll definitely entertain that offer of hands-on assistance.
I’m not going anywhere,
Flo
PS I’m really bad about answering emails, so I can’t really say when I’ll finally write anyone back. Please know that I do appreciate – no, love! – your emails and look forward to receiving more in the future.
Add comment October 16th, 2006